Although I've had the privilege of circling the globe 3 times and making several short-term trips across the sea... it still took me many years to find my purpose in it all. Perhaps my story might help you on your journey as you begin to peal back the layers of this world to see its deepest needs revealed and search for your own personal way to be a part of the solution. A humbling start would be to recognize that a) you do not have all the answers b) you cannot save the world and c) to take it one day at a time/ one person at a time. Let me explain: I initially took it into my own hands to make the world a better place because I assumed no one else was willing. What I thought was heroic was actually quite arrogant. Don't get me wrong, it's ok to be compassionate and willing.... but I tragically began to think that I was the answer to their problems therefore deserving much credit and praise for rescuing the world from issues that have been around since the beginning of time. So, instead of "saving mankind" I was only hurting it by feeding my ego and taking up more space with my head. Not until recently did I realize these hidden motives.
Towards the end of last year I vividly remember speaking with one of my mentors as I expressed such sadness for all of the pain in the world and how I just wanted to fix it all. Through the tears and snotty mess they gently pointed out that perhaps I was carrying the burden of the world on my shoulders. After wrestling with this thought for many days, I began to see the truth in it all. And at first, it was not pretty. I had assumed from the very beginning of my "missions" that it was MY responsibility or "global cause" to save the world from it's problems. With that, and the many I saw with problems I couldn’t fix... I began to carry a huge burden of sadness, guilt, disappointment, and anger. Now that was a definite wake-up call!
Finally, I truly understood what it meant to have a “Global Cause”! It was never really about me, and once I began to see that… I was able to rest in my talents, capabilities and the timing of it all. I finally saw that it really was about one person at a time, no matter where I was in the world! My purpose in it all was to be a transporter. I was a vessel of love, hope, kindness, joy, peace, faith, etc. I was meant to be there in the moment with people... to give them a true hope for a better tomorrow, laugh with them, cry with them, share what I had to give, and to give them something to believe it. So now, instead of feeling the pressure and weight of the world on my shoulders I focus on the one standing right in front of me and ask myself... "How can I love/serve this person best right here, right now?"
One of the most vivid memories was when my YWAM (Youth With A Mission) team traveled to northern India in 2009. We found ourselves in a little village in the boonies looking very different from those who occupied the land. One woman I met must've been approaching 100, or at least her skin said so. This woman was so gentle, beautiful and delicate. Although she had been blind most of her life, we formed an unlikely bond. I clearly remember spending many hours praying for her sight to return. I held her hand tightly through the church services and meals. Even though her sight didn't improve too significantly, I had a complete peace that she knew in those moments that she was loved like she had never been loved before. So even though God did not heal her eyes, I knew He was healing her heart. One night as she was squeezing my hand in the back of the tiny church, I knew there was no where else on earth I was meant to be than right there right then with this beautifully aged soul.
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